Your role as a support system is vital for your loved one who has OCD. The following tips offer guidance on how to be helpful without hindering progress. Covered first, are positive actions to aid the one you love in overcoming or managing OCD, followed by actions to avoid.
Facing off with OCD is no joke; it's a real challenge. Celebrate every bit of progress, no matter how insignificant it may seem. Shower them with encouragement, throw in some positive vibes, and dish out congratulations. You could even map out some rewards with your loved one for each victory. They will feel the support, and their hard work won't go unnoticed.
Bear in mind that your loved one can't just kick their rituals and compulsions to the curb as if they were ditching a bad habit. OCD is a mental health disorder, and your loved one didn't sign up for it. While they're eager for things to be better, it's not as simple as good intentions. A motivational boost from you is way more effective than a tough love approach.
Get up to speed on OCD in general. Dive into books, hit up legit and reliable websites, and even attend OCD conferences. Soak in all the knowledge you can about the subject.
Team up with your loved one. Remember, the foe here isn't them, it's OCD. Show some empathy - grasp what your loved one is dealing with. It'll make them feel understood and bring a sense of comfort.
Your loved one is more than just someone with OCD. They're a whole person with a variety of interests, qualities, and strengths. This disorder doesn't define them. Practice spotlighting all the other aspects of who they are beyond OCD. It'll work wonders and help them see they've got what it takes to break free from OCD.
Strike a balace -don't take over or become too distant. Express interest, but avoid piling on emotional tension to exercises that are already stressful. Keep in mind that your loved one is the one tackling OCD in therapy, not you.
Preserve your own freedom by sticking to your regular routine and activities whenever you can. When you see OCD creeping in, establish clear but compassionate boundaries. Find the sweet spot between being too strict and inflexible, and overly easygoing and complacent. Make compromises that make sense to you and can hold up over the long haul.
If your loved one is drowning in anxiety-inducing obessions, help them shift focus. Try saying like, "Hey, I can see you're feeling really anxious right now. Maybe it's time to give your OCD a breather. Do you want to take a walk or go catch a good show?" or "Do you remember the other day when you managed to take your mind off things and felt better afterwards?"
Don' forget, your pain is just as valid as theirs. You're a collateral victim of OCD and seeking support for yourself is crucial. There are family and friends support groups out there designed to lend a listening ear. Finding out that other families are navigating similar challenges, emotions, and conflicts can bring relief - you won't feel so alone in your journey.
How to Help
Source: Obsessive Compulsive Disorders Reseach Laboratory
Things to Avoid
Criticism can amp up your loved one's anxiety and trigger feelings of guilt. This might push them towards isolation, potentially worsening the grip of OCD and dampening their motivation for therapy. Keep it supportive and understanding instead.
Steer clear of labeling OCD compulsions as manipulation. Remember, your loved one's obsessions stem from genuine suffering, and the compulsions are a way to ease that suffering. Provide consolation and avoid perceived negative consequences.
Keep away from attempting to convince your loved one that their fears or anxieties are unfounded. They're already aware of this, at least to some extent.Trying to persuade them otherwise will likely just fuel shame, as OCD already makes them feel abnormal and vulnerable.
Skip the attempts at reasoning, too. They've been wrestling with that on their own for awhile. If you push too hard to argue, you'll likely end up frustrated and feeling powerless, because OCD is the undefeated champion of debates - always finding that winning argument.
Resist the urge to reassure your loved one about their obsessions by answering their questions. Doing so can escalate their OCD and they may become overly dependent on you. Keep in mind that the questioning rituals won't stop; they'll keep growing until you're drained. While your answers might provide temporary relief, the anxiety will quickly return, leading to the need for reassurance again. Instead, encourage them to think for themselves with questions like, "What do you think?" or "Do you see anything right now?" It's okay when you give into their persistent demands occasionally - it's normal and understandable.
Avoid performing the compulsions for your loved one, even if it seems like a quick way to speed up the routine. By doing compulsions for them, you're fostering dependency, and you might end up enslaved to the OCD, leading to resentment and increased likelihood of criticism and impatience.
If you find yourself caught in a loop of criticism, cynicism, and impatience, it might be wise to take a step back. Encourage them to seek support from another family member or friend who can contribute collaboratively. Don't feel guilty about declining the support role, if needed. It's important to acknowledge your limitations and make choices that will enhance your loved one's success and well-being.
Ditch making day-to-day comparisons like, "Yesterday you did better." Progress is rarely linear, and daily fluctuations don't truly reflect it. Instead, offer encouragement by saying things like, "Tomorrow is another chance to give it a shot" during tougher times.
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Source: Obsessive Compulsive Diorders Research Laboratory
